Trigger Warning

Trigger Warning

We have all heard the term or are familiar with the word trigger. It’s like a button that hides itself beneath the surface, waiting to be pressed. Certain situations, places, event scents can bring up these painful experiences as if they had just occurred. It dawned on me today, that trigger points in muscles are quite similar and draw a similar parallel in the human body as they do in our emotions. 

Trigger points in muscle have a legitimate size and can often be felt beneath the skin. They may feel like knots and become sensitive when touched or put under pressure. The exact causes for trigger points in  muscle varies from person to person. They can arise from trauma to another area of the body ultimately compensating, causing other areas to work harder. Stress is a huge factor. Our bodies get tense when under stressful circumstances causing muscle to know up like a ball. They can be treated through massage, stretching and strengthening the muscles around the area. They don’t necessarily go away as much as they lie dormant. 

In my journey through dealing with many tragedies and trauma, the events themselves will never go away. What was done was done, and simply can’t be undone. The trigger point is always there, lurking beneath the surface. My question I pose is how do you develop resiliency to deal with the raw emotions that come with triggers? You certainly can hide yourself in a bubble, not interact and engage with your environment and or surrounding, but this will not only keep out the bad but also the good. One of the keys are learning how to process and deal with your emotional responses. Like waves in the ocean, emotions roll in and when expressed they roll out. Sizes of waves vary. Sometimes it may feel like a major setback or tsunami, rather than a wave. How does one cope? 

I experienced this similar situation not too long ago. It was the 10-year anniversary in which my brother Rick had passed. Emotions so strong and powerful came flooding in to the point of where I felt as I were drowning. I began having thoughts on how to escape the pain, ways to end it. For a moment, I’d rather have been dead than experienced such powerful raw emotions. When these thoughts arose, I knew immediately to reach outside of myself for a hand to hold. I contacted a friend and let her know how badly I was struggling. She didn’t have a magic pill, but she knew the pain I was facing. That was all I needed. Someone who understood and reminded me to breath. 

I reflected on some points I learned in grief share . One of the terms I remember learning was being “ambushed with grief”. It was an experience that grief comes in so fierce that you feel like you have taken 20 steps backwards. It can happen at any time. There are no rules for our emotions. One moment I was fine, the next I wanted to die. Even those thoughts themselves are not even shameful, they are a response that something is very wrong, and you need help. The only shame is not reaching out for support. I would scream this from a mountain top if I could.

Resiliency is often found in the resources we have outside of ourselves. The knowledge that we gained from a support group or book that was read, a simple text or phone call. I hear it time and time again, I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you continue. The truth is I know nothing at all except how to ask for help. This is the greatest strength anyone can ever have. A willingness to ask for help, and a willingness to learn. The moment we become unteachable is the moment we die. 

So tonight, as I’m thinking about a knot in my muscle, I found the correlation between the body and emotions. Triggers will always come. They will also refer pain to other areas of our lives when left unaddressed often leading us to feel unfulfilled, dissatisfied , angry or bitter, depressed, etc. I encourage you to address the areas that cause you pain and move forward the best you know how. When trigger points rise, reach out for help outside of yourself. Know that you are not alone! Remember as quickly as they escalate, they will also deescalate. Like the rolling waves of the ocean. They roll in, they roll out.