Sea Legs

As I’m trying to enjoy summer here in Jersey as many of you are, my sister in law and I got creative during COVID. We both urged our husband’s to get us paddleboards. Our wishes were granted as we both recieved our birthday gifts in the form of an inflatable raft. We have taken several, and I mean SEVERAL trips to the beach, spending our days with family and friends, doing a variety of things like boogie boarding, fishing, tennis, soccer, football. Just about any ball you can think of, we have taken it with us for entertainment. Nothing beats summer here in Jersey as we wait in anticipation during the fall, winter and spring. It is so nostalgic.
This one particular day we decided to stay closer to home and checked out a local lake to use our new toys. 2 paddleboards, 2 kids and 2 adults. Divide and conquer! My nephew hopped on my board and his sister went with her mom. It was an adventure! Why? Because it was uncharted territory, new areas to explore, new things to discover.
We set out and went in. It was a rather windy day and we decided to just let go and go with the current. We weren’t caught, just enjoying the scenery and taking in the beauty of what laid before us. We drifted quite a ways and I thought to myself, this is really going to be a struggle to get back! A little too late for that thought huh!! Thats what adventure does, takes you out to new territory and you do it with zeal. It wasn’t until I realized how far and how hard we would have to work to get back to the shore that I began to get anxious. There was no time for that! I have a little one with me and they smell fear! We turned it into a game, he became the engine and I steared the way. He vigorously kicked his feet and propelled us through the water like a dolphin. It felt like we were moving at 15 miles per hour but I would totally be exaggerating! The shoreline got closer and closer. We took a few short breaks and before you know it we had landed. Or so we thought. We got out of the water and made contact with LAND.

We were standing for a few minutes and Elijah said woah, I think I should sit down. I agreed and said me too! Then explained how it takes time before you get your land legs back because of the movement in the water. We even talked about how cool it would be to be an animal that could do both land and water without feeling nauseous. Just like that it came to me!

If you’ve ever been on a boat or other moving object in the water, or even in a plane or something up high. That terrible feeling you get and can’t quite explain it. You got is sea sick. My conversation with Elijah inspired me to look up the definition of sea legs. I had no idea there was one; however Webster’s proved me wrong! Sea legs can be defined as “bodily adjustment to the motion of a ship indicated especially by ability to walk steadily and by freedom of sea sickness”. In short, the ability to walk on a boat, despite the conditions and not get sick. What happens to our faith when the water gets rough? I know I can’t grow sea legs but they can be developed through hard times. I’d describe it like this, the ability to walk through the storms of life with secure steps, while trusting in GOD.
I know you can relate to a storm or two but all of you can relate to COVID. It has interrupted your life in one way or another, flipping everything upside down. How are you holding up under these tough times. Better yet how is your faith keeping you steady?
Covid is indeed a storm and how to stay balanced in the midst of it requires discipline. You must discipline your mind to stay the course and stay present. I remember being on a boat under when I lost sight of the horizon. I lost my sea legs because I could not longer see my surroundings..

Breast cancer and grief was very similar, I lost sight of where I was going and had no landmark. Every day seemed like I was waking up to overcome yet another dark storm. My days started out very unsteady. But as I got up and started moving I began to make my steps firm. It was incredibly hard to keep my sea legs and stay firm. It took discipline. Every day I’d rise and seek God with my whole being before I started the day. I had to set my intention. Sometimes it was just to get through the day. Or face another doctors visit or decision. I overcame the obstacles by staying connected to the source. God was my boat and was in the boat with me as he will always be. At times I stumbled and even bumped into things. At times I had to seriously rely on the some others who were in my boat. I didn’t face it alone thats for sure. I also didn’t rely on one person as my source for peace hope or joy. That came directly from God who enabled me to stand in the middle of storm and carry on. It wasn’t easy but I determined that I wasn’t going down with the ship. And if the ship did go down, which it didn’t that I was going down shouting with praise to God. I was so dependent upon him and him alone. As you can imagine that wasnt easy, as I had to let go of my will in regards to the loss of my brother. I had to make a decision and keep repeating the same decision. God I don’t understand, my heart is broken BUT I trust you. I could have thrown the tantrum of a lifetime. I had every right to. But just because we can, doesn’t mean we have to. I chose early on to be thankful for the time I had with him, to be grateful that he was at peace. I didnt meditate on my whys or being bitter. I know one thing about resentments, the more you chew on them the more that seed develops. And that right there my friends will break your balance any day of the week.

I’m not saying I didn’t grieve nor am I saying that I wasn’t sad. I was heartbroken but I didn’t let that determine the course of the ship. I had to keep my mind fixed on good things. I shut myself in for a while because I didn’t want anyone speaking negative things into a situation based on their own limited view. I had one concern to hear from God, him alone. And he was faithful and is faithful. He exchanged my sorrow for joy, my anguish for peace, my fear with trust. I thought I was surely too damaged. No way I could stand in another storm of loss to suicide. Let alone face breast cancer. Once again he proved me wrong and taught me i can do ALL things through him philippians 4:13

As I sit here recovering from a workout, its 5 months since having a double mascetomy and a 15 months post cervical spine surgery, I’m in awe of God’s strength. There is no damage that God can not undo!! Nothing!! He is restoring my mind back to a secure place. I am getting back my sea legs! Covid is yet another storm that is uncertain. I will face it like I have in the past. How about you? I don’t know what your boat looks like, I don’t know how many passengers are on board nor what the seas look like BUT I know the Captain and the one who created the ocean and the boat. No storm is too big for him. When you don’t know where the boat is headed keep your eyes fixed on him, the horizon. When you don’t know what turns are going to come, grab a hold of his hand and find rest in the storm. While it may look like a storm that would never be over or undone, rest assure he can give you sea legs to stand in the midst of it. Brace yourselves and stand! It’s uncharted territory for sure but that’s when the good stuff happens! When it’s not business as usual. Choice faith over fear! Everyday!He is a good good father who loves you and wants to create a purpose out of all this mess. Will you trust him? Pray these words with me.

Heavenly father I invite you to come into my boat, teach me your ways lord. God I ask that you would impart wisdom over every decision that needs to be made. I know that I need help lord and I cant do this on my own. I ask that you would strengthen me everyday to stand in the midst of uncertainty, chaos and calalmity until the day you call me home. In Jesus mighty name.