Saturated: holding as much water or moisture as can be absorbed; thoroughly soaked.
I’m a word junkie. Those who know me, know I like word games and puzzles for fun. It’s my forte’. While the term saturated is directly related to moisture, allow me to make a comparison in our current state of affairs. Like it or not, afraid or not, we are saturated with FEAR. It’s everywhere. Every station you turn on, Facebook “news”, worldwide panic is everywhere. What compounds the situation is not only are we saturated with fear, but we are off to ourselves left being isolated. The only thing worse than feeling afraid is, feeling alone and afraid.
I’m no stranger to fear. Fear has always been present in my life. Just to name a few, fear of rejection, abandonment, the unknown, death, even fear of my own feelings. At times, what I feared actually came to pass and at other times, it didn’t. So, what do you do when your back is against the wall, you can’t trust politics? You certainly can’t put your trust in money. Turn to the medical field or science and regulations change on a regular. Can’t trust! Simply put. Everything in society is changing.
So, I do what I always do in the face of uncertainty. Turn to God. His word is the only ABSOLUTE. The only certainty. What I have learned; death is certain, we all have an appointed time. Our days are numbered! (Psalms 139). It’s not a popular view, I’m sure I won’t get any Amen’s, but it’s the truth. On the flip side of that, God wants us to live a life full of hope and joy on this side of heaven. Even during a pandemic, even during a heated political race, even during some of the darkest days we have lived here on earth. So, what would be the purpose of fearing death? The only thing worse than death is spending it in an eternal hell! Jesus tore that veil, when I accepted him into my heart. What I have learned time and time again is to push in, to press through the fear until I hear from him myself. He is faithful every time. Sometimes he is quiet, other times, he speaks as soon as I enter his presence. His word tells us, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” John 10:27. He is good, he is faithful.
As we enter in his presence and lift up his son’s name, guess what happens to FEAR? It has to bow. You have the same ability with your mouth! We get to decide what we want to magnify. You can choose to magnify the problem or magnify the one who has the solution! His presence is readily available to ALL of us. I encourage you to lift up his name, silence the fear! I can tell you it’s futile to sit and watch the news, politics, etc. I’m not saying be ignorant to what’s happening around us, I’m saying don’t let it in your heart! Proverbs 4:23-27 “Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” What goes in, must come out! We are lost without him!
I’m not coming to you from a standpoint that I live in a bubble because I can assure you that I do not! Having survived the loss of 3 immediate family members to suicide, I surely thought my lot in life was surely going uphill. Much to my surprise, I went for my first mammogram last September. Sure as I’m sitting here typing, I thought God surely you will spare me from cancer, I’ve survived so much already! So I was completely shocked when I received the results and learned I had Stage 0 DCIS. Did fear grip me? Of course it did! Was God surprised? Certainly not. Did he want me to be sick? Certainly not. It was never his will for us to struggle in such a way, but he provided a way out for me. Through the grief, through the fear, I pressed. Every day I pressed into his presence. Everyday his joy overwhelmed my heart. It overtook the fear. The enemy had no foothold on me because I lifted up the name of Jesus. Not my name, I cannot boast on anything. Galatians 6:14- “As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified and the world’s interest in me has also died”.
I didn’t turn to men for counsel, I didn’t google every symptom or procedure. I had a choice! I prayed and took a step. Every step I took I was afraid. Every step that I came to, God met me, assured me, comforted me.I didn’t sit and talk about how afraid I was. Through a pity party about how bad I have it. I didn’t sit and say WOE is me, here I am. I kept my mouth quiet, and protected what went in. if it wasn’t full of life or hope, I wasn’t entertaining it. It had no value for me. Guess what? He carried me through. I just can’t imagine going through anything without him. He has been so faithful to me! Yet here I stand 5 months post-surgery, cancer free! Free from Fear and full of joy! I was prepared for death. I even spoke with my husband about my will should I not make it out of surgery. Because I know nothing is certain on this side of heaven. We are not promised tomorrow! I chose to be thankful for every day! Every day is a gift. My mindset was God I’m going in on the giving end. I’m going in to have surgery and I have you Lord, what about those who don’t know you. God shine through me. Radiate your essence through me.
In some ways, I’m grateful for what I went through because God stripped me of myself. It was no longer about the grief of losing my oldest brother. It transformed my prayer into God, I’m okay but what about them. If cancer takes me out, I want to spread your goodness to all those round me. I want to infect those with your presence. It was a transformation. We lost Rob on June 18th. In the days and months following his death, I struggled. It was like Mike Tyson’s punchout when you get sucker punched and have trouble standing. That was me. My knees were wobbling, I struggled to stand my ground. I felt like the wind got knocked out me. I remember crying out to God, “Please take me home Lord! This world has nothing for me. I’m ready to go!”. He whispered back, “There is still a battle to fight!”. I’m like seriously God, I’m tired of fighting.
Then came the diagnosis that shifted my perspective from take me home to Lord thank you for another day! Let’s do this. Let’s spread your love, hope and joy to EVERY human being. His presence allowed me to do what I was incapable of on my own. That same presence is available to you. He knows your name, he wants to speak to you privately, intimately and personally. What do you have to lose? When fear rises up, lift up your voice and magnify him. Whatever that looks like to you! Fear will leave, you will encourage yourself and he will fill you with whatever you need. You will lack nothing in him.
And when you have done your part, take a step! Do it afraid and TEST THE WATERS. The only way to overcome fear is to face it afraid. And as you keep walking, you might feel afraid, but it will go as you continue to seek him. He will make your steps secure Psalms 37:23. You will then begin to walk tall, not in yourself but in his strength. Let him SATURATE your life with his presence.
IN DEEP WATERS 