Trying to survive, reality is too much to grasp
Life moving swiftly, everything is fast
How do I adapt to my new normal
Laugh to keep from crying, avoiding turmoil
What’s left to be said when my soul has been broken
God please help me to become better, not bitter for this is my token
I can never change the loss but only how I respond
What I can certainly tell you is I will come out strong
Walking through the valley, it’s hard yet so healing
For as I walk with you, you administer the healing
It’s a relationship, that is bonded so tightly when there are no words to say
I need you so desperately, every moment of every day
I lay down my questions for there are no answers for this pain
Only comfort and encouragement , its you who sustains
The aftershock hasn’t worn off yet, for my soul is not well
My faith on the other hand has another story to tell
God you are sovereign, I know this to be true
Nothing catches you offgaurd, you are the one to pursue
Degrees, certificates and education are good, but you are the only one
Who knew my beginning and my end, for my imperfections you sent your son
I come to you messy, unmasked and real
For you are my father, who has big shoulders and can heal
When others come to me for help I can only tell them where I turn
Help me to know the difference, I ask for wisdom to discern
I don’t like my lot in life, surely it’s not something I would chose
Three important men in my life, but in the end I never lose
Death has been defeated for this I truly know
I just look at their final actions , the truth will then show
It’s not what came from their mouths but the decisions they made
In the end they sought forgiveness, and it was mercy that you gave
And no there weren’t perfect but that doesn’t deny their faith
Suicide isn’t a sin that separates us from you Lord
The only certainty we can have is that our spirits are secure
Locked up eternally with you in heaven
For we live in a dark world, your the light we have been given
Therefore I won’t hide my light under a table
Lights shine the brightest in the darkness, even if my steps aren’t always stable
Search me and know my heart oh lord for in your presence there is fullness of joy
Happiness is fleeting, it wears off like a shiny new toy
Joy on the other hand can not be taken
Even when all around is dark, and my foundations is shaken
I occupy this temporary space to simply reflect your love
Allow me to be your hands, feet, and mouth, your prescense fits me like a glove
Help me to lead others in a way that they would know who you are
That you are a God who is personal, not one whom sits afar
IN DEEP WATERS 